This film is imagined as the director’s suicide note—a record of anxieties, fears, desires and final memories. Some of these memories, trivial and never preserved in history, remain deeply embedded, surfacing in limbo or as deathbed visions. The film is saturated with images of the male sex organ, undeniably the engine beneath civilisation itself, driving the world forward in both its beauty and its depravity. From this provocation, a buried history slowly emerges: the rise and fall of gay pornographic print media in Thailand, forever entangled with the nation’s shifting political climate.